.no matter the cost .open

[susan]

Susan Amelia Phillips, unemployed and lonely was drinking. It was at the time where she needed time to just let her hair down and that was exactly what she was doing, though on her own. Several things had been going through her mind lately, it seemed that the stress of not working was getting to her after working hard to try and find a job she wanted to do. There were a few idiots that she knew she would not enjoy several she had applied for. It was getting very old and she found herself getting very short tempered with them but yet she was known to be very patient. But Susan wanted a job she would be happy in and make a difference in - was that really too much to ask? The job that would make her happy. But sometimes it felt like there was not her ideal job out there. She just sighed once more. Maybe she was in over her head.
Making an impact upon the next generation was something she wanted to do and she was going to do it, she would make sure of it, but she would need an apprenticeship for that. Downing the last of her drink, she stood up putting her jacket back on, she nodded to the barmaid and on her way she went putting a smile on her face. It was late into the afternoon but shops were still open. Feeling the warm wind in her hair and on her face, she was glad to get out of the castle for a short while. Susan was dressed in a dark tailored jacket, a simple black top and her black trousers. It was her style and she dressed rather well if she admitted to herself. Her hair was only half pulled back so it was off her face and she had a pair of her favourite earrings in.

Walking with a bounce in her step, she started to look in the windows of the shops, seeing if anything would catch her eye. It was nice to do this and no having to rush around Susan knew that she could not have everything she wanted but the one thing she missed the most was seeing her sisters and niece, but they lived away and she could only see them every so often. Her sisters always taunted her, saying that Susan was married her singe life - maybe she was right because she just loved it that much - most of the time. Susan was not going to say it would not be nice to be in a relationship, but she was not going to go out of her way to get a relationship. Susan was content on her life the way it was.

Susan continued to make her way down the street, since she woke up today it had been another normal day, but the added bonus she was now able to spend time in Diagon Alley. If anyone asked her how she was doing at the school, she would just tell them that it was all fine and that she was just having a look around the shops. After the war, things had changed quite a bit, people were living in peace and had simple things to worry about now and it was great to see that everything was getting back to normal. Once more she found herself smiling to herself. Maybe one day she would find that peace she was still looking for, but she knew she was half way there because she had to find her dream job, she just needed a family to go along with that. But for now she would have to make do with spoiling her young niece, she had to since she was her godmother. Now she was on the out-skirts of the alley and sitting down on a bench, she crossed her legs. It seemed that she had quite a few issues to contend with.

Truthfully she had not made her mind up about where she wanted her life to go, and by wizarding standards she was still young. After all witches and wizards lived a heck of a lot longer than muggles do. She had enough time to become truly happy and have her dreams come true, she would go to the end of the Earth to find that happiness. But that was something for another day, she was not in a rush to find it. Susan would often find herself sitting down like this thinking to herself, she would be in a far off place where she was in her own little world. The voice would say the here and now was where she was meant to be, she knew it as well. Every mile she travelled had always been something to her, she had belonged in here and felt such at home, sometimes she wished she had still been at Hogwarts. Shaking her head at herself she once more sighed. "Susan, you are such a dreamer." She chuckled as she spoke out loud to herself, thinking no-one was around. All she neede now was her prince to whisk her away - now she was dreaming, she would settle for a normal person or even a pet. "You really need a life."

[wolf]

WHEN YOU WERE STANDING IN THE WAKE OF DEVESTATION
WHEN YOU WERE WAITING ON THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOWN. WITH THE CATYCLYSM RAINING DOWN.
YOUR INSIDES CRYING "SAVE ME NOW." YOU WERE THERE, IMPOSSIBLY ALONE.

Remus walked with his little girl he held her some of the time while they walked and let her waddle in front of him for short bits. The little girl had mastered running and seemed to love running around, it made Remus proud that he could watch the simple joys that his daughter had, joys that as of a year ago she wouldn’t have. With the Voldemort gone she could live a happy life, a free life. Yes she would always have to live with the fact her father was an outcast, but at least the world would be free and safe for her to grow in. He knew if anything ever happened to him she would still have a family, with Sirius and his daughter or James, Lilly, and little Harry. Sometimes he wondered if leaving her with one of his friends to be raised would be better for her, then she wouldn’t have to fight the problems that would come from having him as a father. He loved his daughter and through she was the best thing that happened to him, he was happy that she was in his life, but would she be happy he was in hers?

After the defeat of the dark lord many people knew who Marauders were, but unlike James and Sirius when the women got to know him that ran in fear. It had already happened three times since the dark lord was defeated. A women would think he was a hero would begin to fall for him and he her, but the moment he told her about his infliction she ran for the hills, seeing a hero in only James and Sirius. He shook the thoughts of finding a women from his mind and he trotted ahead to catch is daughter who was giggling as she ran ahead of him. He picked her up and swung her in the air “Where you going peanut?” he said as he scooped her up and put her on his side. As he walked with the little girl half talking half babbling. She wanted to be put down again, but he held her as the walked through the now crowded street. “Daddy.” The little girl wined in his arms as she tried to get free, but he didn’t put her down.

Remus’s thoughts went back to the fact even though he lived with his best friend Sirius and only down the street from his other two friends James and Lilly, he was still in fact lonely. James had Lilly, and Sirius he had girls ones that didn’t run from him. As he walked farther into the outskirts of the ally and less people walked around him he put Ariana down again and let the little girl be happy as she ran ahead of him, he took his eyes off her for a moment only then to have her run up to a women on a bench, he put his eyes back on his daughter just in time to see her run up to a random girl sitting on a bench. He heard his daughter blurt out a “Hello” before he rushed forward and picked the little girl up “I’m sorry” he said to the women “I took my eyes off her for a moment, I apologize for the bother.”

AND IN A BURST OF LIGHT THAT BLINDED EVERY ANGEL AS IF
THE SKY HAD BLOWN THE HEAVENS INTO STARS. YOU FELT THE GRAVITY OF TEMPERED GRACE
FALLING INTO EMPTY SPACE, WITH NO ONE THERE TO CATCH YOU IN THEIR ARMS.

OVER THE E D G E OF CAUTION 2.0 MADE THIS.
STEAL IT, AND HE'LL CUT YOU WITH RUSTY GUMMY WORMS.

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[susan]

Rubbing a hand down the side of her face, Susan let out a short sigh before biting her bottom lip. It was indeed too bad her sisters had not wanted to come and spend the day with her. Then again they both did have families of their own now. But she came by herself anyway, she just needed to get out of her small home, she was fed up at looking at the same four walls all day. Sometimes she did not know how she got in this mad situation. Sometimes she missed the adventure of her old life, of being at school and not having to worry about anything, but she still needed a new job now - it would have to stable, but it had to be the perfect one since she found out being an Auror was most certainly not for her.

Smiling to herself, even after all these years she was still missing the fun aspect of her life. Susan had never been one to lose control of her feelings. Maybe a few drinks would let her unwind - to hell with her pride. Maybe it would help if she went into muggle London and to do a bit of shopping instead. But what would that solve? Just allowing herself to let her hair down. Susan was still at the young part of her life by wizarding standards. She was holding onto something and she needed to let go, surrendering everything was on the cards. Time was up and yet another smile appeared on her face - life was only what you made it and she was going to make sure she had the time of her life. She had a lot of it to live yet.

Feeling the wind blowing through her hair, she did not need wings to help her fly. Maybe it was time she got back into flying- she was not a professional, but she was not scared of a broom like her a few of her old school friends had been during their time at school. Gwen was not going to let anyone bringing her down from the mood she had managed to get herself into - that was a jolly mood so to speak. As she continued to think to herself, it was when a small voice interrupted her thoughts. Susan was quite shocked to see a young child speaking to her. "Hello there." She said in response and she had a smile on her face. It was not too long until someone else arrived to picked up the little child. The smile was still resting on her lips. Susan listened to him apologise. "There is no harm done, my niece does it all the time. You let your gaze slip for one moment and that is it." She chuckled as she thought of her two year old niece. Then she looked up at the man that had claimed the little one before she looked at the young child again. "I'm Susan." She said in introduction, it only seemed right. "And what is your name sweetheart?" Turning her attention to the child the gentleman in front of her was holding.

It was nice to actually be talking to someone else, no matter how brief this encounter may be. The man that was standing in front of her - she knew who he was, or at least she assumed she did. Susan was in the year above him at school, though she had been a Ravenclaw and she pretty much kept herself to herself at school, so she would not be surprised if he did not know her by name.

[wolf]

WHEN YOU WERE STANDING IN THE WAKE OF DEVESTATION
WHEN YOU WERE WAITING ON THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOWN. WITH THE CATYCLYSM RAINING DOWN.
YOUR INSIDES CRYING "SAVE ME NOW." YOU WERE THERE, IMPOSSIBLY ALONE.

Remus looked at the girl she looked familiar; perhaps they had gone to school together. In school he never took much notice in people mostly girls being the fact he never thought they would like him. He was never used to people taking an interest in him. He was so used to getting over looked next to James or Sirius. He saw the girl not mind that his daughter had disturbed her thoughts, he was happy he didn’t want to upset anyone on this fine day. His daughter did make a habit of bothering people she didn’t know, most of the time a person would just shrug her off and walk away, but this women was actually interacting with the small child. “ My name Ari” the little girl said to the women with a shy smile then she turned and hid her face in her father’s shoulder.

“I’m Remus Lupin” he said to the women with a soft smile, “Sometimes she gets shy randomly” he told women. He shifted his daughter to his other arm . “Again I am sorry she disturbed you.” Even though Remus had his daughter for a year now he still wasn’t fully adjusted to having a daughter. The little girl tried to get out of his hold so he put her back down so instead of her getting fussy he put her down, she happily walked over to the women again and tried to pull herself up on the bench next to her.

AND IN A BURST OF LIGHT THAT BLINDED EVERY ANGEL AS IF
THE SKY HAD BLOWN THE HEAVENS INTO STARS. YOU FELT THE GRAVITY OF TEMPERED GRACE
FALLING INTO EMPTY SPACE, WITH NO ONE THERE TO CATCH YOU IN THEIR ARMS.

OVER THE E D G E OF CAUTION 2.0 MADE THIS.
STEAL IT, AND HE'LL CUT YOU WITH RUSTY GUMMY WORMS.

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Sorry its so short I'm heading out, just wanted to give you a post, my next one will be longer.

[susan]

"That is a pretty name Ari." She spoke in response to the little girl once more, still with a smile on her face. Susan had always loved children since her niece had been born. She would take every chance she could to look after her if Autumn - her sister, needed to go anywhere and she could not take the little one. Then she turned her attention back to the man standing in front of her, with a smile on her face, now she was certain of who he was. "I thought I regonsied you. I was a year above you at Hogwarts - just in Ravenclaw though." Susan was not normally so nervous around people, but myabe it was just in the moment since she was still trying to figure out what she wanted from her life. It seemed to be one of life's great questions that did not seem to want to be answered.

Nodding as he spoke, she could see that he thought the world of his daughter. "Like I said, there was no harm done." She spoke what she had said the first time he had apologised. It did not bother Susan at all. Chuckling a little as the little girl tried to get on the bench, she lent over to help her onto the seat. "There you are little one." Susan smiled as she crossed her legs, looking down at the small child that now occupied the seat next to her. She was such a sweet little girl. Looking back to Remus, she said. "You can sit down, I don't bite unless you want me to." She grinned playfully.

"She is not so shy now." She chuckled slightly. Susan waited to see if he would indeed sit down since Ari did not seem to be moving since she got up on the bench, but then again he might have a previous engagement that he needed to go to and needed to go immediately. But the little interaction was good for her, it kept her from overthinking and surprisingly it had brightened up her day just a little. Sometimes she did over think things but then again if she did not then something would clearly be wrong. As much as she hated to admit it to herself. "If you need to be somewhere, don't let me keep you." She spoke quickly what she had just thought moments ago.


ooc: not to worry about it.

[wolf]

WHEN YOU WERE STANDING IN THE WAKE OF DEVESTATION
WHEN YOU WERE WAITING ON THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOWN. WITH THE CATYCLYSM RAINING DOWN.
YOUR INSIDES CRYING "SAVE ME NOW." YOU WERE THERE, IMPOSSIBLY ALONE.

Remus smiled at the girl, he hadn’t thought people noticed who he was. “I didn’t realized people took notice of me at Hogwarts.” He said with a soft smile on his lips. In school he was always a smart kid, but he spent more time in the library then doing most other things back then. He often followed his friends around watching them cause trouble and disturbances, but hardly ever joined in except for the time of the month when his infliction took hold, and together with his friends he then broke the rules. He hardly liked to betray Dumbledore’s trust and break the rules, but those nights running around with his friends he felt free, the freest he ever felt in his life. He noticed she seemed nerves, he wondered if perhaps she knew about his infliction, perhaps she could just feel that he was different. He hated always worrying about what people thought of him, but due to what he was he always wondered if people could tell he was different, or how different they would treat him if they knew what he was. “Thanks.” Said the little girl breaking him from his thoughts.

He looked at his daughter who was now sitting next to the women she hardly knew. His talk with her about strangers seemed to fail her; the little girl was so trusting. Remus was glad that the days of the dark lord was over, he and his friends had made sure of that to ensure a better future for their children. “Still, not many want their thoughts disrupted by a kid.” He told the women, he didn’t know why but he felt ok with having his daughter near her, he didn’t feel the dangers that used to fill the world, he was happy that the dangers of the life he grew up in didn’t get in the way of the little girls life. The little girl stood up on the bench and looked around behind the bench, then she kneeled down still looking over the back of the bench, not paying attention to her father or the women that had just helped her onto the bench. “She tends to tune people out as well, as you can now tell.”

He sat down on the bench next to his daughter who was now in between him a Susan. He glanced at the little girl who had her eyes fixed on something behind them then back at Susan. “No, we just needed some time out of the house.” He told her, “She gets restless when we stay home all day, so sometimes we come here to just walk.” He tended to come out here with Lilly while James was at work. Today Harry had a cold so Lilly stayed home with him, leaving Remus to go for his walk alone. He liked it better when Lilly came along, she would always make him think he really did have a girl out there that would accept him, he just had to find her. When he was alone and thought to much he convinced himself that there was no such girl. He was convinced he would never find love. “If you don’t mind she probably needs a brake from walking anyways.” He glanced up at the sky, it was a beautiful sunny day he wondered why she was here, alone. “So what brings you out here all alone on a fine day like this?”

AND IN A BURST OF LIGHT THAT BLINDED EVERY ANGEL AS IF
THE SKY HAD BLOWN THE HEAVENS INTO STARS. YOU FELT THE GRAVITY OF TEMPERED GRACE
FALLING INTO EMPTY SPACE, WITH NO ONE THERE TO CATCH YOU IN THEIR ARMS.

OVER THE E D G E OF CAUTION 2.0 MADE THIS.
STEAL IT, AND HE'LL CUT YOU WITH RUSTY GUMMY WORMS.

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[susan]

"You would be surprised." She smiled as she answered his statement about people taking notice of him. Susan shrugged her shoulders. "I think too much anyway, so she did me a favour in the long run." It was true, she did have a habit of getting lost in her thoughts - it did her no good because she would go over several situations that had already happened and she could not do anything to change it. Susan had always been a thinker and never doing anything without seriously thinking it all through. Her mother had once told her she had no idea where she got it from. She remembered when she told her mother she was in Ravenclaw and not Gryffindor - the shock was quite evident in the reply she had recieved from that letter, but her parents were proud of her in what ever she did. After all she went to school in a time it was not save, just like the rest of her generation and she was just happy to be able to live her life in peace - even if she did not do anything in the war because her parents refused to allow her. Susan never quite understood why, but she never asked.

Chuckling slightly. "I see that her attention span is not all that great, but most kids are like that I gather." Susan smiled a little - she had learn't a long time ago that she could not have children of her own and there was nothing that could be done about it - there was no magical solution to it. But she had grown to accept it such a long time ago - she was just happy that her sister allowed her to be such a big part of her niece's life, that had mean't the world to her. Susan had thought of it in the way that she did not have to make a choice between children and a career because it had already been made for her. Now she just had to find a career she wanted to do. That seemed to be the toughest task she had at the moment, but she was sure that she would get there slowly.

"I don't mind at all, its a public bench. You can sit here if you want to." She glanced at him, a smile still resting on her lips. "I guess just to get out of the house. Being unemployed had several drawbacks, I still have no idea what to do with my life..." She trailed off and she shook her head. "Sorry I am babbling, you don't want to know the worries of a stranger." Susan smiled sheepishly. "As for being alone, all my friends have lives and I don't." It was a simple answer, but it was very true. "How old is your daughter? If you don't mind me asking." She was curious and she asked things before she really thought about it. "If you want I was going to go to grab an ice cream if you both wanted to join me." Though she was originally going to go to the pub, she now really wanted an ice-cream since it was such a lovely day. Such days were rare and they had to enjoy them while they could.

[wolf]

WHEN YOU WERE STANDING IN THE WAKE OF DEVESTATION
WHEN YOU WERE WAITING ON THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOWN. WITH THE CATYCLYSM RAINING DOWN.
YOUR INSIDES CRYING "SAVE ME NOW." YOU WERE THERE, IMPOSSIBLY ALONE.

He smiled at her, he wasn’t used to being surprised, and life had been very predictable for him other then a few things. The few surprises he had after becoming what he was were just simple things, like his friends accepting him then becoming Animagus to spend time with him, then finding out he had a daughter, and that fact Peter betrayed him and the simple fact that he and his friends ended the Dark lord, something he still could hardly believe they had done. “I tend to do that as well, that’s how she ended up wandering” he told her. He often got lost in his own mind and seemed to lose touch with the world, that wasn’t a good thing when you had a young daughter that tended to wander. “I’ve got to learn to stop doing that.”

Remus smirked, he knew she didn’t just get that from being a young child, she got that from him. He was just like that at her age and even still now, he often didn’t stay focused on one thing at a time rather more then one at a time. He never had just one project, rather many projects all at once. His daughter had gotten that from him. Perhaps her mother had been the same way, Remus would never know. He met her mother once he was already very drunk and hardly even remembered he spent the night with the girl. Sirius had to remind him the next day he had been with a woman. Then once again he was reminded when the women showed up with his atrocity of a daughter, her words not his. “Yes, she seems to lose interest even more then my friends two kids, she gets it from me, I can be the same most of the time.” He glanced at the girl trying to figure out how he had missed her at school, or rather how James or Sirius had missed her. They went after almost any beautiful girl that crossed their path, how had they not seen her?

Remus wasn’t used to spending time with people outside the Order or mainly his group of friends, so hearing her say that she didn’t mind him staying there made him smile. For this moment he could pretend to be normal and talk to a girl, talk to a girl and forget about what he was and just be normal, a normal father out with his normal daughter, talking to a normal women. “No” he told her “It’s alright I don’t mind, I do more listening then talking anyways.” If Lilly had been out for the walk with him she would be the one talking far more then he would be. For him he liked it better when the girl spoke because the more she would speak the more he wouldn’t have to.

Hearing her say what she did Remus could relate to her, his friends as well had lives of their own. Lilly and James had each other, Sirius, well Lupin didn’t know what he had but he always seemed busy. He was left behind as their lives moved forward. Remus was fairly sure he would only get as far as having a daughter; he had all but given up on love, after all who would love him? “Yes, my friends are the same” he told her “They all seem to know what they want with their lives.”

When she asked about his daughter he thought for a moment, he had her for about a year now, meaning she was now 18 months old. “She’s just over eighteen months, but I’ve only had her about a year.” He didn’t mind her asking about her daughter, for he didn’t mind talking about his little girl. It was himself he didn’t like to talk about. “Ice Cream.” He said nodding his head, “I think we could go for some ice cream, what to you think Ari?” he asked the little girl, who just looked at her father nodded her head then went back to not paying attention to the adults.

AND IN A BURST OF LIGHT THAT BLINDED EVERY ANGEL AS IF
THE SKY HAD BLOWN THE HEAVENS INTO STARS. YOU FELT THE GRAVITY OF TEMPERED GRACE
FALLING INTO EMPTY SPACE, WITH NO ONE THERE TO CATCH YOU IN THEIR ARMS.

OVER THE E D G E OF CAUTION 2.0 MADE THIS.
STEAL IT, AND HE'LL CUT YOU WITH RUSTY GUMMY WORMS.

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