Losing Yourself {Open}

[Deleted]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #000000;] Once I was Harder to Bruise [/style] James M. Jonson People watching. James spent most of his time people watching it seemed to calm his mind and while he sat observing people he felt almost normal. He wasn't sure why, but he never fit in with anyone in town. While he could pretend to get along with people at night while he was drinking he had yet to truly talk to someone when he was sober. He sighed thinking about it, he longed to be with people but he never could find someone that understood the way he acted. Yes he could act kinder to people, but he didn't see why he should. If he had wanted friends he wanted them to know the real him. He wasn't going to be fake to anyone. He frowned while he watched people knowing he didn't seem very inviting he glared at people and hardly ever kept up a casual conversation. He came off as cold and uninviting which did fit him well. "I love you" a woman's voice whispered, in his mind he saw a blurry face laying on the ground her hand reaching for him. Then she gasped for air and the image disappeared. He took his hand and hit his head trying to chase the images from his mind. He knew it was starting because he hadn't drank today, he hadn't started to lose himself. This was the longest he had spent without drinking in a long time and it was beginning to show. He hated seeing the images in his mind, he didn't know why but after he saw them he always felt sad. Especially after seeing the images that were of the girl, the girl with the face he couldn't see. James stood up quickly knowing it was to early for the bar to be open but he did have the key to the liquor cabinet at Grannies where the bar was he wouldn't take much not enough to get truly drunk, but enough to hold him over until the bar opened and he went for work and went to drink more. Working at the bar he could lose himself while he drank laughing and joking with the people that came to drink as well. When he drank was perhaps the only time he smiled, but he had to be careful because he was the type that loved to pick a fight, mostly because he knew he could always win. He wasn't sure why and wasn't sure how, but he could win a fight no matter how big the man he fought was. He walked quickly into Grannies opening the door hardly paying attention to who was around, his mind was only on the drink he was about to have to chase away the demons in his mind. He didn't even see the person who was infront of him until it was to late. The person had been standing still, but he still cashed into them. "Watch it!" he said angrily at the person knowing it was his fault but still blaming them instead. Template by FOREST @ CAUTION 2.0

[goddess]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 380px; background-color:#E3E3E3; border-left: 3px solid #331E13; border-right: 3px solid #331E13;] too many dreamers, LOOKING FOR THE ONES THAT LAST

[/div]

The diner seemed to be one of the most common places that Gemma found herself in,minus the bed and briefest that was also Grannys in which she worked at. But there seemed to be not better place in this town to see a friendly face and have a decent conversation. All down for the day at the hotel, Gemma had decided to get a quick bite at Grannys before heading home for an early night in. Volunteering at the school reading day was tomorrows plans,which needed a full nights sleep and satisfied stomach. So grannies seemed like the only logical choice. Gemma had quietly entered the Diner and was welcomed by Grannys smile from across the room, she gave a quick smile back and Granny knew exactly what to get started for her. It was a Wensday, which on any given wens day for Gemma,it meant chicken pot pie and a pot of peppermint tea. granny really did know her too well. She kept her gaze at the older woman until she disappeared to the kitchens,leaving Gemma standing right in the middle of the entrance.

It was really all her fault,she was after all the idoit who remained standing in the door way. but a kinder person would have looked as to where they were going,but in any situation, that was always she. After being rather suddenly shoved from behind, Gemma turned to sweetly apologies to the rather rude sounding man. Everyone deserves to be treated equal until proven otherwise. So she welcomed the man with a forgiving smile,which didn`t drop when she realized who it was. James seemed like a sad and lonely man, but that would never been said to his face. Gemma was not one quick to judge,but his eyes looked ever so sad. "I`m very sorry sir, it was my fault." She said, fumbling slightly to make sure he had not been hurt by her."I should have moved myself else where, is there anything i can get you to make up for this?" It was the least she could do, that offer would put a smile on anyones face.

TAGGED: OPEN NOTES: MY FIRST OFFICIAL POST ON HERE!

[/div]

i love brooklyn from caution !!!

[/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #000000;] Once I was Harder to Bruise [/style] James M. Jonson James looked the girl over, he knew her not well but of her. She was the bleeding heart type the one that liked to help other even when they shouldn’t be given any. Her smile seemed to anger him he didn’t know why it was almost as if her smile threw fuel on a fire that always burned within him. His frown stayed on his face, he saw her as beneath him, he saw everyone below him, but especially people that helped the weak. He knew she did volunteer work that perhaps was one of the reasons he didn’t like her, you shouldn’t have to volunteer any of your time to help anyone. People of any age should be able to help themselves if they wanted something they should go for it. To him there was nothing that was unattainable or so he believed if you really wanted something nothing should ever get in your way. Like Revenge . A voice whispered in his mind. He put his hand on his head for a moment, when ever the images or voices came to his mind his head always began to pound, he knew without another drink it would just get worse. When she asked if there was anything she could do for him he took his hand from his head for a moment forgetting his pain and gave her a smirk. Not a friendly smirk by far, one could even go so far to call it an evil smirk. Then he spoke in his oh so cruel voice, “What is it that you could ever give me?” he asked her he needed no money. “I’m not some charity case.” He told her, “Like you might be used to.” He spoke to her in a tone that seemed to be speaking down to her, like she was nothing to him just a small ant in his path. Then he looked at the girl closer she was pretty after all, “Perhaps a drink.” He said to her gesturing to the area that was set up to be the bar, the afternoon bar tender was opening up now, not many drank at this time, most came when James started to work, but for now at least the bar was open and maybe just maybe he could get the little do gooder to join him tonight when he got off work. Template by FOREST @ CAUTION 2.0